I'm Kelsey. Which technically means I'm a chronically delusioned pseudo-schizotypal maniac. I'm clever. And utterly moronic. I'm far too old to be fifteen. But I'm far too young to accept the notion of dying. I'm a one-woman wrecking crew with a penchant for fist-fights and tall tales. And that's probably not changing anytime within the near or distant future. Chances are if you and I have ever crossed paths, even on one occasion, I've psycho-analyzed your entire conscious and subconcious being. Because I'm weird like that. I'm also an artist. But only in private. And for every year since 1998, I've engaged in hour-long lovemaking sessions with Abe Vigoda immediately following each shifting solstice. And, no. You think I'm kidding. But Abe's a stud.

Performing Arts

Setting a divine example to all humanity by living the ideal Zen existence. And kicking irritating people where the sun don't shine. That's always fun.